Advice - Your Rope

Rope Isn’t Therapy

I’ve often heard people refer to rope as a therapy, and I’ve even been called a therapist as a rigger. But that isn’t how this lifestyle works, not really.

Therapy is to process trauma. You’ve experienced a traumatic event and feel stuck and it impacts on your life. You need help to get unstuck, so you need a trained professional to help you work through the memories and destructive thoughts and habits you’re left with. It’s hard work, but always worth it.

When we engage in rope, it allows us to express a part of us that society deems unacceptable or taboo. We’re doing it to feel a sense of true self, to uplift ourselves and have fun or create moments of deep relaxation. It can be quite a journey of discovery, life altering in fact. If you’re fortunate enough to find trustworthy people to explore with, it can be a beautiful journey. It’s why social networking sites have transformed how we’re able to connect with like minded people and feel a sense of validation for who we truly are. But that’s not therapy, that’s self awareness.

Yes, as part of your therapy you may discover new things about yourself and feel validation, but you won’t (certainly shouldn’t) engage in rope outside of therapy sessions – they are controlled and focused on your autonomy, not building intimate relationships or you getting your kicks.

In fact, going into a (rope) relationship expecting it to “heal” you isn’t fair on the other person/people. You alone are responsible for your recovery, your thoughts and feelings, your healing. Going to an independent, qualified therapist will help you because they work in a framework to maintain your autonomy and independence. Expecting a partner, family member or friend to help you with that is unrealistic, burdening and will create a codependency that will feed your problems not solve them.

Dea Nexa

(Image: self tie)

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