Advice - Your Rope

The Undeniable Beauty of Middle Aged Women

As a society we’re pretty bad at talking about the changes all women (in a binary sense) go through during the menopause. Watching BBC breakfast in the mornings last week, there were segments dedicated to the menopause. Thank goodness for that. About bloody time! There was a convention in Germany where global experts discussed the menopause and how best to manage it and the symptoms. Fabulous, I thought!….

But, when I tie middle aged women I notice something they all say. They apologise for their bodies. They want to look beautiful and ask me to make them look beautiful. They have aches and pains, and they apologise for that and their inability to do the things my younger bunnies can do. This makes me feel so sad. But I understand. I see it too often all around us. In the kink community I’ve seen how middle aged women are sometimes sidelined, made to feel less beautiful or sexy because of their changes, less intelligent or kinky so a target of ridicule. It’s really not ok.

My middle aged friends are stuck in a horrible place. They want to feel beautiful, loved and accepted, but instead are bombarded with very young skinny women being used by men in porn and on social media. It doesn’t reflect most people’s reality, certainly not women like me.

We must do better.

When I tie others in my rope, I connect. I try to bring out who the person is. I try to work with the body in front of me, no matter the age or sex or other physical limitations. I try to figure out what that bottom needs in that moment, emotionally and mentally. In all my experience of tying dozens and dozens of people, we all want acceptance.

Dear Middle Aged Women,

You are beautiful. Your body shows wisdom and has tarried many struggles that enrich your being, nourished like honey.

You are strong. Your mind and body have seen much of the pain life throws at us, battled many storms, and yet you fight on regardless. You are surviving and have grown into a wonderful woman.

You are admired. You may keep your pain secret, but your ability to strive for what is right for you is commendable and shows tenacity and strength.

Within you is a light that others may have tried to dim. Within you there is a spirit that you may have been suppressing to get through those difficult times.

On the outside, your body is majestic and wise, scarred by love and sacrifices you’ve made. You are unique and special because of those experiences.

So shine on, my kindred spirits. The changes will settle. The criticisms will become meaningless, because you know it’s all bullshit anyway.

Much love ♥️♥️♥️

2 replies on “The Undeniable Beauty of Middle Aged Women”

Thank you so much for the consciousness and awareness you bring to this art. I really love your work and words that highlight in an intelligent, sensitive and aware way, some of the very important issues to pay close attention to for the highest good of all. I am an enthusiastic beginner to this art and practice, and wish to embark on this journey primarily with my long term committed monogamous partner. Your work and advice, especially the clarity and finer subtleties around consent have been a great help and eye opener. Many many thanks and keep up the good work…

Thank you, Mike. I’m glad my work has helped you. Wishing you lots of happiness with your partner.

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