People engage in rope play for many reasons, which I explore in my book Living Rope. People enjoy binding others or being bound, and this often rests on cultural interpretations of this taboo. Shibari is the term for Japanese style rope, which is rooted within its own cultural context. We should, therefore, be careful with […]
Over the last decade of working within rope and kink spaces, the issue of consent is unanimously agreed upon, but the nuances less so. One of the common debates around consent is what, if anything, can be done in public where people who you do not know or have not been involved in the negotiation […]
It is the holy month of Ramadan at the time of this publication. As a practicing Muslim, I thought I would take some time to explore common myths people have of my religion. Most people are taught to be frightened of Islam and Muslims, because it justifies actions by our governments in Muslim majority lands, […]
Rope is a drug. It’s addictive. It’s mind altering, and can reveal hidden truths about yourself. It can tap into parts of your brain otherwise unexplored, show you what is possible and what you are capable of. As a rope top or rope bottom your biochemistry changes in rope. Adrenaline, cortisol, endorphins are released into […]
Perhaps it’s because I’m in my 50s, or maybe it’s my chronic health conditions and disability, or the changes in the political arena, but I have felt a huge shift in myself in the last year. The hedonism of my 40’s has passed. My body’s changes invites new perspectives and needs. I no longer want […]
Living with long covid is not easy. It has disabled me and has drastically affected the rope play I can do. Self suspension is particularly challenging, since I’m in charge of all the planning and mitigation and self suspension is very demanding on my body. With some ideas from some fantastic self tiers in an […]
It’s International Menopause Awareness Day. More than half of the entire world’s population will experience the menopause and perimenopause. Menopause is the time from a person no longer having their periods for a year, and perimenopause is the phase before that. Our bodies, minds, thoughts and feelings change in a variety of ways. These changes […]
The journey into kink is a fraught one for most people. We live in environments and cultures that want sex and relationships to look a certain way, for whatever reason. Whether it is hedonistic or conservative, who we are and the desires we feel can sometimes mis-match completely. On a human level, introspectionally, we might […]
Like, really hurts most of the time. Some rope can be more decorative, kinda like a kinky fashion statement. But even that sort of rope carries risks and need careful negotiations to avoid harm. However, in the main, most people do rope to feel constrained, helpless and/or pain. Being held in rope, shifts the physche […]
Is “Shibari” racist? What about kinbaku? What aspects of our rope practice, is in fact, racist? Shibari. Kinbaku. Alien words to most people. These are Japanese words from the Japanese culture of rope bondage. Shibari means knots in direct translation. Kinbaku means tight binding. I see so many people using these terms, even as their […]