New Bonds: A Relationship Coaching Toolkit for People Living Alternative Lifestyles New Bonds is a new person-centred approach to self-development and coaching toolkit for people living alternative lifestyles. Whether you are LGBTQ+, polyamorous, kinky, or want to explore your relationship preferences, this is the book for you. You will be invited to explore who you […]
Bristol Femdom Workshops
Saturday 13th July 2024, Bristol, UK SOLD OUT! Please email deanexashibari@gmail.com to be added to the reserve list. Bristol Femdom Workshops is an educational event to explore the Femdom lifestyle and play. Anyone identifying as a woman dominant and any gender submissive is welcome to come along. The event is held in a fully accessible […]
Bristol Rope Space (POC friendly)
Mission Statement Bristol Rope Space aims to provide a safe inclusive environment for all people to access rope education and to practice their rope skills. The focus is on building fundamental skills and the development of safe, sane and consensual rope practice. This is a space to develop self awareness and express ourselves in rope […]
The Kink Embrace
The Kink Embrace is a valuable resource for anyone interested in kink or the kink lifestyle. The book explores the foundations of building kink experiences and relationships from an ethical and moral perspective. Each chapter goes into some depth of the common themes that kinky people encounter as they navigate the lifestyle. It covers fundamental […]
The latest talk circulating on kink social media (in the US at least) is how a very influential ultra conservative content creator doxxed a kink event, which lead to the pulling of public funding for the LGBTQ Centre it was operating in. I’m not American, but I don’t think we have to be to feel […]
Rope Hurts
Like, really hurts most of the time. Some rope can be more decorative, kinda like a kinky fashion statement. But even that sort of rope carries risks and need careful negotiations to avoid harm. However, in the main, most people do rope to feel constrained, helpless and/or pain. Being held in rope, shifts the physche […]
Rope and Religion
I have been reflecting on this topic for some time, aware of how various religious and spiritual practices can affect the the rope we do. In many online and in-person spaces, I have noticed a prevalence of alternative beliefs to the majority Christian faith in the West. I have come across a lot of atheists […]
You Don’t Have to Bottom
You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want. No one should ever be pressured into an act or course of action. No one should be manipulated into being bound, hit, called names, dress a certain way, act a certain way, at all. Ever. Don’t do it. Without out consent, the freely given, enthusiastic, […]
There’s a difference between abuse and ethical kink practice: it’s consent and fun and fulfilment, carried out with respect and honesty. A controlling and dominating abuser operates by stripping away the autonomy of their partner because of deeply held insecurities or anger, causing immeasurable pain and suffering. Dominance and submission dynamics are based on equality […]
Romanticism and Rope
I have found there is a strong air of romanticism in some rope photography that I have seen. By romanticism, I do not mean the artistic period. I mean the feelings of romance and other worldliness of rope play, a step or two away from the reality of everyday life. Very often we see partially […]
One of the most challenging parts of running rope or kink based events is ensuring a degree of safety for the attendees and those working at our events. I have felt the pressure to conform to practices that have lead to people being harmed within the kink community and even at events themselves. I have […]
I often say that the difference between healthy kink and abuse is the presence of consent. In my Foundation classes and my books The Kink Embrace and New Bonds, I discuss the anatomy of consent because having this key knowledge is so important. We need to know what consent means to us and those we […]