With the passing of Queen Elizabeth II and the replacement of our Prime Minister Boris Johnson last week, I have been reflecting on leadership styles, and on how and why some work better than others in different situations. I have been reflecting on how my submissives engage with me as their dominant, and how my […]
It might be unfair to call a person an abuser, we all make mistakes after all. For some people it’s habitual. Its how they chose to relate to others. I’m referring to the types of people who can’t be honest, lack the self security to ask for what they want, so resort to manipulation and […]
Aftercare refers to the care we provide to ourselves and to our partners with after playing with them. Top, bottom, switch, dominant, submissive, whatever, we are all entitled to be looked after in the moments after the scene and during the dropping part of the process which can last for up to a few days. […]
I wrote a status update a couple of days ago on social media, a thought about how vanilla people don’t understand that kink relationships are still relationships. They are. My relationships with my partners vary HUGELY, but they are meaningful to me in different ways. I’m poly and kinky, which isn’t vanilla at all! So, […]
I have had a challenging week. I’ve had to engage in some very difficult conversations with people I work with, play with and even sorting my home finances. All these conversations were important in their own ways. All life altering. But I got through the week remembering some basic ethical principles and facilitating my communication […]
It was brought to my attention that there is a lack of resources for cis het men that identify as a submissive, particularly for black men. I remember several years ago questioning this disparity, noticing that the vast majority of books for male submissives read like porn and lack any depth or insight. Even good […]
In recent conversations with a few people, I’ve been mulling over issues around submissives and bottoms not wanting to be seen as a “doormat”. I’m not referring to the trampling kink… hence me, rather cheekily, posting a trampling photo with one of my rope bottoms. That’s fun. It’s negotiated. Everyone gets a need fulfilled by […]
If someone is creepy, it means they give others an uneasy feeling. The sort of feeling that your gut instinct tells you is off, not right or just plain rude. This happens when someone invades the personal boundaries of others, physically or verbally. It happens because the said creep is indirectly threatening to be physically […]
If you’re new (I’m suggesting on your local scene for less than 6-12 months?) it’s really difficult to find rope partners. Like unbelievably so. Genuine ones, not clinical psychopaths – which is significant as you’ll see in due course. It’s kinda like getting your first job, you think; once you’ve got some experience you’ll land […]