It’s not nice being accused of abuse, is it. Surely, it’s not true. They’ve misunderstood you. Or they’re making it up. Or there’s a witch hunt going on and you’re the victim and need to tell people that. You wrote messages the way you were supposed to. You held the door open and were really […]
You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want. No one should ever be pressured into an act or course of action. No one should be manipulated into being bound, hit, called names, dress a certain way, act a certain way, at all. Ever. Don’t do it. Without out consent, the freely given, enthusiastic, […]
There’s a difference between abuse and ethical kink practice: it’s consent and fun and fulfilment, carried out with respect and honesty. A controlling and dominating abuser operates by stripping away the autonomy of their partner because of deeply held insecurities or anger, causing immeasurable pain and suffering. Dominance and submission dynamics are based on equality […]
I have found there is a strong air of romanticism in some rope photography that I have seen. By romanticism, I do not mean the artistic period. I mean the feelings of romance and other worldliness of rope play, a step or two away from the reality of everyday life. Very often we see partially […]
I often say that the difference between healthy kink and abuse is the presence of consent. In my Foundation classes and my books The Kink Embrace and New Bonds, I discuss the anatomy of consent because having this key knowledge is so important. We need to know what consent means to us and those we […]
Aftercare refers to the care we provide to ourselves and to our partners with after playing with them. Top, bottom, switch, dominant, submissive, whatever, we are all entitled to be looked after in the moments after the scene and during the dropping part of the process which can last for up to a few days. […]
If you’re new (I’m suggesting on your local scene for less than 6-12 months?) it’s really difficult to find rope partners. Like unbelievably so. Genuine ones, not clinical psychopaths – which is significant as you’ll see in due course. It’s kinda like getting your first job, you think; once you’ve got some experience you’ll land […]