You can’t “fix” people. People are who they are. No matter how much we love and give people chances to “change”, someone living in destructive and/or abusive behaviours will not change that way. And, chances are, in the throws of trying to fix people, you may be fascilitating the abusive cycle. One of the challenges […]
You don’t know what you don’t know, sometimes. You might see a rope tie and try to copy it, either structurally or artistically. But, oftentimes, you might not know everything that goes into what you see. You don’t see the months or years long relationships that led to that point that inspired you. You might […]
We often see content about red flags – warning signs that the person you know might be abusive and in the early stages of developing a harmful relationship with you. But often, I see people referring to actual criminal behaviour as red flags, when it’s more than that. I heard a YouTuber refer to this […]
Most rope teachers will agree that rope should be accessible to all people interested in it. Consequently, access to quality rope education is crucial in this endeavour. So, we post free content, run affordable not-for-profit classes, and use our free time to help our peers in leadership and peers in rope. We aim, hopefully, for […]
Occasionally, there is scene drama and someone is accusing someone of abuse. And then the other person says they are the victim. So, people don’t know what to do and keep quiet. And the abuser gets away with it, again. It’s not good enough… Something to consider is that an abuser will shift blame and […]
People engage in rope play for many reasons, which I explore in my book Living Rope. People enjoy binding others or being bound, and this often rests on cultural interpretations of this taboo. Shibari is the term for Japanese style rope, which is rooted within its own cultural context. We should, therefore, be careful with […]
Over the last decade of working within rope and kink spaces, the issue of consent is unanimously agreed upon, but the nuances less so. One of the common debates around consent is what, if anything, can be done in public where people who you do not know or have not been involved in the negotiation […]
It is the holy month of Ramadan at the time of this publication. As a practicing Muslim, I thought I would take some time to explore common myths people have of my religion. Most people are taught to be frightened of Islam and Muslims, because it justifies actions by our governments in Muslim majority lands, […]
I have a ban list for my events, but it is not public. On the list are people that we, as a team, know have a history of abuse and harassment. All of us have been working in our community for a while and are respected, so people feel comfortable to disclose to us what […]
Rope is a drug. It’s addictive. It’s mind altering, and can reveal hidden truths about yourself. It can tap into parts of your brain otherwise unexplored, show you what is possible and what you are capable of. As a rope top or rope bottom your biochemistry changes in rope. Adrenaline, cortisol, endorphins are released into […]